As I make plans to implement innovative digital learning tools in the 21st Century CCLC afterschool program, I’ve come to realize that the most important part of leading change isn’t the technology: It’s the people. How we communicate, stay focused, and handle resistance determines whether our plans for innovation succeed. That’s why I’m committing to becoming a self-differentiated leader and using the Crucial Conversations framework to guide my change strategy.
A self-differentiated leader is someone who can regulate their own emotions, stay calm during anxiety or conflict, and resist being pulled into emotional drama or blame games (Kaufaman, 2013).
For me, that means:
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Staying grounded and focused, even when others are anxious or resistant.
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Holding true to the vision of my innovation plan without becoming reactive.
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Leading with clarity instead of control.
A differentiated leader should be able to connect with others in a meaningful way without losing sight of the plan!
To grow as a differentiated leader, I need to:
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With staff that are used to determining their own policies and procedures, push back will be inevitable. I must manage my own anxiety when change feels overwhelming or pushback arises.
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With such a small group of professionals, it is easy for "clicks" to form where gossip can easily spread. I must avoid emotional triangles, the indirect conversations, or gossip that slow progress. I can remain connected without letting individual emotions derail my goals.
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Expect sabotage as a sign that real change is happening and respond with curiosity, not defensiveness.
To lead change, we must be prepared to have tough and emotionally charged conversations. The Crucial Conversations framework provides a roadmap to successfully navigating such conversations while remaining focused on the overarching goal (Callibrain, 2015).
Being a self-differentiated leader isn’t about avoiding conflict. It’s about navigating it productively.
To support my innovation plan, I have developed this plan for having Crucial Conversations:
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Get unstuck: When I sense tension or avoidance around new tools, I’ll gently bring it up at monthly training sessions and encourage forward movement.
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Start with heart: I’ll lead with the why --> how this change helps reduce stress and ultimately supports our team's forward movement.
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Learn to look: I’ll watch for signs that someone feels shut down or unsafe to speak.
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Make it safe: I’ll reassure colleagues that I value both innovation and their experiences.
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Master my stories: I’ll challenge any assumptions I make about resistance or motivation.
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STATE my path: I’ll clearly and calmly explain our goals without pushing. I will clearly outline the innovation plan.
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Explore other paths: I’ll listen with curiosity to concerns and alternative ideas. I will adjust as needed.
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Move to action: I’ll end conversations with agreed-upon next steps to keep us moving forward.
References:
Alex Kaufaman. (2013, August 24). Friedman’s theory of differentiated leadership made simple [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9H-i9lHr28
Callibrain. (2015, August 20). Video review for crucial conversations by Kerry Patterson [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EFaXx3pgaxM